IN a world where narcissism is on the rise, the tendency to ignore boundaries and to act as though others are an extension of ourselves is detrimental to relationships and psychological security. You simply cannot have boundaries without privacy or have privacy without boundaries. Unfortunately it has become a norm for ordinary people to be interested or otherwise disturbed to see someone’s leaked private nudes, videos or messages. To fully understand why we get so worked up over a celebrity or socialite being “exposed”, one needs to recognise that as an ordinary person, we always want to know the private affairs of well-known individuals. We should also understand that there is a difference between secrecy and privacy. Privacy for one or the desire to have it, is the ability, right and power to choose our thoughts and feelings and whom to share them with, or not. What we keep private and what we share is what makes us desirable, funny, popular, unpopular, mysterious, charming and charismatic. Our right to privacy basically gives us personality, because the less someone knows about you, the less power they can have over you. Secrecy on the other hand is somewhat a bit different, it stems from deliberately keeping something from others out of a fear. Secrets consist of information that has potentially negative impact on someone else – emotionally, physically, or financially. Keeping something private is an act of choosing boundaries and staying comfortably within them while keeping something secret is an act of hiding from the pain of disclosing something shameful. How we are judged by others affects our opportunities, friendships, and overall well-being. Although we can’t have complete control over our reputations, we must have some ability to protect our reputations from being unfairly harmed. If someone’s sex videos or nude images shared with the lover are stolen and made public, the person is a victim and never a criminal. We need to begin to help victims identify the origins of such videos and leaks, so society will maintain sanity, otherwise this will become more than just a norm and break the values of the society we live in. But there is always a double standard as sometimes these leaked videos, expose infidelity, corrupted individuals and other immoral acts by trusted and well-known people. Unless someone willingly shares those videos that they recorded, one must sympathise with those people, rather than criticise, belittle or bully them, because at the end of the day, it is not your business.
Confidente. Lifting the Lid. Copyright © 2015